Before submitting your next paper, go through and look for every instance where you directly speak to, or at, the audience. Reword those sentences to avoid talking TO the audience so directly.
Example 1: “If you have ever gone into a mall, then someone has tried to sell you something.”
Revised: “Most people who have gone into a mall have had someone try to sell them something.”
Example 2: “We need to change these laws so that our children can grow up in a better world than ours.”
Revised: “So that children can grow up in a better world, these laws need to change.”
You're trying to establish a certain set of ethos (credibility) with your essay. As an academic writer you should be able to compose your essay without speaking directly to your audience. You don't need to rely on emotional appeals to persuade them that you are correct.
THESIS STATEMENTS
Topic Vs. Issue/Research Question
Find a topic, but ask a question- Your thesis statement is your answer to the question.
Topic: Characters in classic fairy tales.
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Question:
I’m researching the classic fairy tales, Cinderella, Snow White, and Hansel and Gretel and specifically looking at the roles that step mothers play in these tales. How are these particular mother figures presented in these three classic fairy tales?
Possible Thesis Statement: The three classic fairy tales, Cinderella, Snow White, and Hansel and Gretel, clearly portray the step mother figures as negative which may result in negative notions about modern day step mothers.
Let’s try together:
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Topic: I’m doing a paper on gender specific children’s toys.
Question: I’m researching the effects of gender-specific toys on children’s intellectual development.
Do boys’ toys develop intellectual skills more than girls’ toys do?
Possible Thesis Statement?
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Topic: I’m doing a paper on eating disorders.
Question:
I’m trying to sort out what the experts say is the best way to treat severe anorexia nervosa.
Is inpatient or outpatient treatment more effective?
Possible Thesis Statement?
* MORE ON Thesis Statements:
Make sure your thesis statement is IDENTIFIABLE (which means a reader can easily spot it in the paper) and is CLEARLY ARGUABLE. This mean you have to not only find an issue but obviously make an arguable claim about that issue.
Topic: Batman Vs. Superman
Argument: Batman is better than superman
Reason: Because batman doesn’t need magic to be awesome.
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Unacceptable Thesis Statement: “Batman is a hero who doesn’t need magic powers.”
Very Weak Thesis Statement: “Batman is the best hero.”
Weakbut acceptable Thesis Statement: “Batman is the best hero because he doesn’t need magic powers.”
Good Thesis Statement: “Batman is a better hero than Superman because, unlike Superman, Batman doesn’t use magic powers to save the day.”
Very Strong Thesis Statement: “Batman is a better hero than Superman because Batman uses his skills, hard work, and various resources to save the day rather than magic powers.”
I THINK, I FEEL, I BELIEVE If a Thesis statement has to be arguable, consider what I can and can't argue with:
"I think batman is a better hero than superman." "Batman is a better hero than superman."
I can't say, "You do NOT think that!" Who am I to say what you think? I CAN say, "I disagree. Superman is way better than batman."
Also: YOU are the one writing the paper. These are your words and your thoughts. It's assumed that you think or believe what you are writing because YOU are writing it. So it's not necessary to literally say "I think." It takes away some of your credibility and also the credibility of the audience. The audience is left saying, "Duh." Which isn't all that appealing...
Definitive: Not to mention, "Batman is better than Superman." is a more definitive and ballsy statement than, "I think Batman is better than Superman." Own it. And then prove it. Rhetorical Appeals Be aware of rhetorical appeals when constructing a text. That means a paper, an interview, a conversation, an outfit- anything that can be read.
HOW do you want to be read? WHAT is the purpose of your text?
MISC WRITING TIPSIntellectual Property:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDT0m514TMw
http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/the-juice/466312/beyonce-countdown-video-brings-charges-of-plagiarism
http://www.theguardian.com/stage/2011/oct/10/beyonce-dance-moves-new-video
* Directly addressing the audience:
Before submitting your next paper, go through and look for every instance where you directly speak to, or at, the audience. Reword those sentences to avoid talking TO the audience so directly.
Example 1: “If you have ever gone into a mall, then someone has tried to sell you something.”
Revised: “Most people who have gone into a mall have had someone try to sell them something.”
Example 2: “We need to change these laws so that our children can grow up in a better world than ours.”
Revised: “So that children can grow up in a better world, these laws need to change.”You're trying to establish a certain set of ethos (credibility) with your essay. As an academic writer you should be able to compose your essay without speaking directly to your audience. You don't need to rely on emotional appeals to persuade them that you are correct.
THESIS STATEMENTS
Topic Vs. Issue/Research Question
Find a topic, but ask a question- Your thesis statement is your answer to the question.
Topic:
Characters in classic fairy tales.
Question:
I’m researching the classic fairy tales, Cinderella, Snow White, and Hansel and Gretel and specifically looking at the roles that step mothers play in these tales.
How are these particular mother figures presented in these three classic fairy tales?
Possible Thesis Statement:
The three classic fairy tales, Cinderella, Snow White, and Hansel and Gretel, clearly portray the step mother figures as negative which may result in negative notions about modern day step mothers.
Let’s try together:
Topic:
I’m doing a paper on gender specific children’s toys.
Question:
I’m researching the effects of gender-specific toys on children’s intellectual development.
Do boys’ toys develop intellectual skills more than girls’ toys do?
Possible Thesis Statement?
_
Topic:
I’m doing a paper on eating disorders.
Question:
I’m trying to sort out what the experts say is the best way to treat severe anorexia nervosa.
Is inpatient or outpatient treatment more effective?
Possible Thesis Statement?
* MORE ON Thesis Statements:
Make sure your thesis statement is IDENTIFIABLE (which means a reader can easily spot it in the paper) and is CLEARLY ARGUABLE. This mean you have to not only find an issue but obviously make an arguable claim about that issue.
Topic: Batman Vs. Superman
Argument: Batman is better than superman
Reason: Because batman doesn’t need magic to be awesome.
Unacceptable Thesis Statement: “Batman is a hero who doesn’t need magic powers.”
Very Weak Thesis Statement: “Batman is the best hero.”
Weak but acceptable Thesis Statement: “Batman is the best hero because he doesn’t need magic powers.”
Good Thesis Statement: “Batman is a better hero than Superman because, unlike Superman, Batman doesn’t use magic powers to save the day.”
Very Strong Thesis Statement: “Batman is a better hero than Superman because Batman uses his skills, hard work, and various resources to save the day rather than magic powers.”I THINK, I FEEL, I BELIEVE
If a Thesis statement has to be arguable, consider what I can and can't argue with:
"I think batman is a better hero than superman."
"Batman is a better hero than superman."
I can't say, "You do NOT think that!" Who am I to say what you think?
I CAN say, "I disagree. Superman is way better than batman."
Also:
YOU are the one writing the paper. These are your words and your thoughts. It's assumed that you think or believe what you are writing because YOU are writing it. So it's not necessary to literally say "I think." It takes away some of your credibility and also the credibility of the audience. The audience is left saying, "Duh." Which isn't all that appealing...
Definitive:
Not to mention, "Batman is better than Superman." is a more definitive and ballsy statement than, "I think Batman is better than Superman."
Own it. And then prove it.
Rhetorical Appeals
Be aware of rhetorical appeals when constructing a text. That means a paper, an interview, a conversation, an outfit- anything that can be read.
HOW do you want to be read?
WHAT is the purpose of your text?
Ethos
Pathos
Logos
Kairos